ME time is my favorite time.

Somedays I feel like I can barely stay afloat. Being a mom is tough stuff. It doesn't matter if you have one kid or 20 kids. 

It's demanding 24/7. Break time and "ME" time is, well, let's just face it. It's non existent. 

Since having my fourth baby, I have noticed how stressed I am. How much anxiety I have when I'm out, alone, with my four minions. 

I finally realized this while I was sitting in a movie theater with all my kids.

Here's how my/our outing went.....enjoy.

I was watching my 2, 4, 5, almost 6 year old, like a hawk. Telling them to stop climbing on the seats. Stop talking so loud and telling me you're starving. We JUST ate! Stop getting up and trying to run down to the movie screen. Stop throwing a tantrum cause you can't touch the movie screen. Oh no, the 4 year old needs to use the potty. The 2 year old doesn't want to come because she finally noticed, Wreck It Ralph was on and she was being quiet.

The stress level right now is pretty high. I'm sweating. And not just because I have a 19 pound 5 month old strapped to me. Do I leave the toddler with the 5 year old while I take the 4 year old potty? Do I make them all come with me which will cause them to throw fits and tantrums and disturb everyone in the theater? Or do I tell the 4 year old to hold it, which could lead to her peeing her pants or throwing her own fit cause she can't go potty? Do I just leave the theater cause I just can't handle this by myself?

I had to go with draggin' everyone with me cause there are creepers out there people. Never leave your kids alone. Never. Not even when they are 12 or 15 years old.

There were a couple stares and shushes from people as we left, but I made it to the porcelain throne with my gaggle of geese in one piece. Everyone went potty. Whew, made it. Now to go back to the movie and enjoy. Wait. We have to walk past the devil pit. A.K.A. Refreshment Area.
One word....POPCORN. I know it's tempting for the kids 'cause gosh darn it, I want to stick my head under that popper and have the hot kernels of saltiness flow into my mouth like the Niagara falls. YUMM.

But we can not get any. :(  Mean mom, I know.

Scarlett is going buck wilded. Screaming, rolling around like she's on fire. All the fun stuff I love for her to do in public. The big kids whine but there is minimal tantrums and guide them to the movie. There is about 30- 40 minutes left of the movie. The credits start rolling. I try to get out of there as soon as possible cause it's lunch time and very close to nap time. That equals not fun when you are out with monsters. I mean kiddos.

There is a small arcade area on the way out, thank you Satan, and the kids pretend play on it for a few minutes cause I'm not the most meanest mom after all. It's time to go. It's time to drag my tantrum throwing toddler to the car, along with a crying 4 year old and a pouting 5year old. Thank The LORD Thatcher was amazing while we were out that day cause He would have broke me for sure. The Hulk was on the brink of coming out. 

We get to the car. Everyone is strapped in. I sit in the drivers seat with the AC on blast, blowing on my face.

UGH! Being out with my kids can be so stressful! Sometimes it's great! Sometimes, I want to just scream and cry with them in the car. That has happened more times then I would like to admit. 

Before Thatcher, I knew I was feeling run down, stressed and overwhelmed at times, but I would have NEVER confessed to it. 

I put on my mom pants of, I've-got-this, and pulled my hair up into a mom bun called, I-know-What-I'm-Doing, and try to get through each day. 

Moms, it's ok to ask for help. I am now just at the point of asking for help. I wish I would have gotten over myself and stopped putting on a happy, strong face sooner. That mentality will only get you so far.

My super duper amazingly awesome friends came over one day and played and watched ALL MY KIDS, plus their baby who is under a year, for a whole entire morning!!! They said,"Hey, we are gonna come over so you can have some "me" time. You can leave, Go back to your room and nap, watch tv, take a shower. Do whatever YOU want to do."

Everything inside of me was saying, "GO! Run far away for the morning!"

But I had the feeling of guilt pulling me to stay and help them watch my kids. Don't they know who much work it is? Why would they offer to do this? That is craziness! Especially since they will have their babe with them.

I went back to my room. Nursed Thatcher to sleep and sat in my room for about 20 minutes going back and forth on what to do. Should I stay or should I go?

I put a dress on. Braided my hair. Slapped on some mascara and grabbed my keys.

I sat down at Panera ALL. BY. MYSELF. It was glorious, people! I didn't have anyone talking to me. No spilled drinks. No crying cause their chips fell on the ground. No sibling arguing going on in the background. No baby strapped to my chest.
Nothing.
Just me, my, You Pick Two and Raspberry Tea.

I thought to myself,"I want to have this stress free feeing in my life more!!!"

I can not tell you the last time I went somewhere just to sit by myself. Just for me. Now, I've been by myself waiting at a doctors office cause I had Strep throat. I've waited in line at Chipotle, picking up dinner by myself. Chris and I have had many date nights by ourselves (which is another must in my life) But I can NOT remember the last time I just went some place for me. Brittany Leigh Bryant. By myself. Doing nothing.
That's when it hit me how stressed I am. How much I need to let go of holding onto, I-GOT-THIS-UNDER-CONTROL, and I-GOT-THIS-BY-MYSELF mentality and ASK FOR STINKIN' HELP!!

I came back for my lunch date, with Brittany, so refreshed. I could almost cry 'cause it saddened me I didn't do this sooner. I've had people offer to watch or hang out with my kids while I grocery shop or just go to target by myself and I've never taken them up on it. The pressure of guilt always held me back. Why would they offer to do something SO stressful? They don't know what they are offering. Clearly they have hit their heads on a 2x4 cause my kids are no Brady Bunch.

Guess what? They DO know what they are offering. They would not offer if they don't think they can handle it. And, if it is too crazy and stressful, I'm pretty sure they wont ask again. That's OK! You got some quality ME time in your life. What a blessing! Receive That blessing, friend!

I've been freed from my guilt and stubbornness.

You should be free as well.


'Til Next Time,

BB