One of my very first blog posts I said something like "We all come for jacked up families anyway right?" Well I feel lead to share with all of my cyber peeps out there my testimony. So here we go...
I didn't grow up with both parents, my mom pretty much raised my sister and I. My mom left my Dad when I was just 2 weeks old and my sister was only 2. She left him because he was still doing drugs after going to rehab many times. She caught him doing it and left to go live with her mom, my Grammy, in Florida for several months. We moved up to Pennsylvania and lived there until I was 7. We lived in a town on the outskirts of Philly with this guy my mom was dating named Wayne. He had two other kids that were older then my sister and I. Renee and little Wayne were there names. Big Wayne was in and out of jail the whole time. So that right there can tell you we weren’t in the best situation. While we were there, some of the things I was exposed to were alcoholics, drugs, pornography, some one ODing on drugs in our home, having any ambulance come and cut her clothes off, them trying to revive her..she died, many many physical fights and went to a jail to visit Wayne with my mom. My mom was doing drugs as well and would be up for over 24 hours and then be sleeping for days.
My sister, Lauren Dru, I will forever love her because she was not just being a big sister but she was being my mom! Just because she was born 40 doesn’t mean at 9 she needs to take care of a 7 year old but she did.
That was a time in our life that we liked each other. Later on in my life, we fight, hate and don’t speak to each other.
There are many more things that happend but that is just the gist of the first 7 years of my life.
My Dad would come in and out of our live by phone or letter. He would promise my sister and I thing after thing after thing after thing and never come through. We would get so upset but after a while we knew that they were just words not actions or acts of love.
My mom had my brother with Wayne when I was 7. Kevin Wayne Long was the biggest brightest light out of those 7 years of my life. I loved him so much and loved that I wasn’t the baby anymore.
My mom left Wayne shortly after and we moved to Ithaca New York with my Aunt Dru. That’s my mom’s older sister. It was a way better situation home wise. My mom started working for my Aunt who is an artist. My mom stopped doing drugs but started drinking even more. She had different men that she would “date” and I hated that. Things got crazy with living with my aunt. My mom and she would fight all the time and it just wasn’t working out. We lived there for about 2 years.
We moved into a little apartment in Ithaca about 20 minutes away from her. I was almost 10 now. This is when my sister started middle school and entered teenage years. We hated each other. We didn’t speak and when we did it was yelling and hitting. I made some really good friend and would hang out with them as long as I could so I would be home. I loved school too, again because I was not home. My mom was still drinking all the time and was still “dating”. She had this one boyfriend that was a pig! I knew he was using her and it mad me so mad. I hated him with a passion. Any guys that my mom brought home or my sister or I saw we immediately hated him and let him know it. One story that my sister recently told me was one time this guy was at our house and Lauren opened the door and say “You’re outta here!” That makes me laugh. Thing got bad because my mom was working at a nursing home taking care of people at night. So Lauren, Kevin and I would be home alone a lot.
My mom met Armond and they started dating but didn’t let us know. So they dated for a couple months and then we met “the man”. We met at a lake for a picnic and with in the first 30 second I managed to pour a huge cup of sweet tea over Armond’s head. This is my thinking now after so many men in and out of my mom’s life…Don’t even give them a chance because they are going to leave any ways. That mentality right there had me not trust men at all. Do you blame me?
So fast forward, it looked like Armond was not going anywhere. He wasn’t so bad…better then a lot of the other men. I was almost 12 now and they told us that we are moving to Florida. I was happy at first because I thought I was going to live at Disney World! Once we made it to Florida, it was excuse my French Hell! I had no friends, I was starting middle school, my sister is my worst enemy, I just felt very lost and very very angry. I started to rebel by sneaking out with some neighborhood friend that were doing drugs and drinking. My school work sucked. I hated school by the way. It was so different then up north. My mom got pregnant with my youngest brother Arthur. I was 12 when he was born. I loved having a baby in the house. He was so little and so sweet. I felt like I had to protect him. I had to be the big mama sister to him since Lauren was to me and she was still doing that to my other brother Kevin.
We lived in a neighborhood and a lady named JP was doing a backyard bible study. Kevin wanted to go but he didn’t want to go by himself. My mom didn’t want to go so she made me. I am so thankful that she made me go. After spending a couple weekends in the summer with JP she invited me to her church.
Now my whole life the only time we have been to church was sometimes for Easter and Christmas. I heard the gospel but never paid attention to it. I heard the name Jesus..mostly in vain along side of Mary and Joseph.
I went to church with her and her husband Brian. Went to the youth group a couple times and really liked it. I had been going with them for about a month now and one Sunday JP and Brian had child care so I was sitting by myself. I don’t know what the pastor was talking about by the whole time I felt sick to my stomach. I thought I would have to get up and run to the bathroom and throw up. I started listening to the pastor and he started saying” I don’t know your name. I don’t know your past. I don’t know what kind of family you come from but I do know that God loves you. God knows everything thing you have seen, experienced, thought and felt. He sent his only son Jesus Christ to take all of that stuff that we call sin away and He died for you”. I felt like I was sitting alone in the huge room and it was just this pastor and me. He said “if there is anyone who wants to know more about Jesus to please come forward and I’ll talk with you”. The feeling in my stomach got worst and I couldn’t ignore it. I stood straight up and walked. As soon as he started talking to me I started to ball my eyes out! I accepted Jesus to be my savior. He saved me from a life of hell and now I would be able to spend the rest of my life with Him. The Father to the fatherless. I needed a father. I didn’t know what one looked liked or acted like.
I went home and told my sister what happened and she bit my head off! She was in a really bad place. She said she didn’t believe there was a God. I was stupid and that was not real. After that I never told any one else because I didn’t want to get rejected like that again. My life didn’t really change with friends or things I was doing.
We moved into some townhomes and met one of our neighbors.
The Polk’s.
They had 2 kids, one daughter named..Brittny and she was my age. Also a son named Hunter, Kevin’s age. Hunter and Kevin became really good friends. From Hunter hangin out I could tell that the Polk’s went to church. I was happy and sad at the same time because I wanted to go and tell them what happened to me but didn’t want my sister or anyone else to find out. Brittny and I finally became friends because we were so nervous to meet or talk to each other. Oh 12 year olds!
The invited me to their church and I said yes! I loved it and started to build a relationship with the whole family. They guided me and discipled me, which I needed so bad! I started to change my life and need to lose my friends that I had because they were too much for me as a young believer. It was too hard for me to be the light in their lives.
I am so very thankful for the Polk family! They helped me in so many ways! They showed me Jesus in times I didn’t know he was there. I saw the example of a family with a mom and a dad that truly loved each other. I had never seen that before and I wanted that so bad.
They would invite my sister but she would always decline. My mom would too but soon enough Jen invited her to a mother’s day thing at church and my mom gave her life to Christ!! How amazing…another believer in my family! Shortly after that I went to a summer church youth camp and my sister went to the youth group on Wednesday. Well the youth pastor was with us so they had the college leader fill in for the week. That night Lauren gave her life to Christ. I remember Jen coming into my room at camp telling me that Lauren just gave her life to Christ. I was so so so so so happy I cried.
From that point on my sister became more then a sister she became one of my best friends. We did everything together. Shorty after that…we went to Mexico on a mission trip and then to the Czech Republic. Lauren went to college at BCF. Baptist College of Florida! How crazy is the God we serve the chain reaction of his unfailing love in my family. My little brother Kevin went to Awanas and gave his life to Christ and we were all baptized!
Just because I was “Saved” didn’t mean my life was just dandy, I have hard things to face and relationship problems but looking back on my life and past seeing the decisions I made, I hate it but I can’t deny that it made me the person I am today. God uses everything for His Glory! Thank you Jesus for loving me. Thank you for picking me up and holding me in your arms. Thank you for taking your life to give it to me. Thank you Jesus for covering me with your grace. Thank you Jesus!
So that is my testimony and I could talk about it more but this turned out kind of long.
Daughter of God
Brittany Bryant
